In Which I'm Too Tired To Think of A Clever Title.

Like the title says, I'm very tired, but was in the mood to blog. So forgive me if I can't come up with a decent topic sentence, and I just dive in.
I have a terrible case of Mommy-Brain, which often leaves me standing in the middle of the bedroom, running my hands through my hair, wracking my brains to figure out exactly which boob I used last while breastfeeding. Thank God for Giovanni, who takes one look at my frazzled face and says matter of factly, "Start with the left side".
Oh, yeah. I totally knew that.
Yes, I am breastfeeding. For some odd reason, this is the first thing people (women) ask me...which I find disturbing. I don't ask you what you had for breakfast, why do you need to know what my kid had? And the whole lactation consultant thing baffles me-I suffered through a humiliating meeting with one in the hospital, in which I had to sit, topless, while she showed me how to insert a boob into Camilla's wide-open mouth. I didn't have the heart to tell her that the child will latch on to anything that isn't moving. Even if it is moving, she'll try her best to catch it and suck it 'till it dies.
The breast pump lesson was even more humiliating-a bored nurse from the nursery hauled it to my hospital room and demanded that I hook myself up to it. I tried to hint to her that it was pretty self-explanatory, I could figure it out myself. It must have been the Perkaset making me so nice, because now that I think about it, I should have just told her to get the heck out of my room. But I obliged and hooked up to it...if you've never had the privilege of using a breast pump, well, you haven't lived. It's a very humbling experience. Using a breast pump in front of other people just increases the humbling factor. She started it and I could not stop laughing. I was absolutely hysterical. Giovanni was laughing, too, but it was more of a nervous, my-wife-is-nuts kind of giggle. Then she cranked it up to beast-baby mode, and friends, I laughed no more.
Okay, no more boob talk. Nasty.
The C-section recovery has been a lot easier than I thought it would be. My scar is tiny! I freaked out when I saw the (15) staples (although they did look like a pretty wicked piercing) but the scar is barely visible. I was sore for a while, but I tried to take as little pain medication as possible. Piece of advice-if you have a C-section, don't take the high road and refuse the pain medication until at least 24 hours after the surgery. Take it from me-the noble idiot writhing in pain in the hospital bed. Just take the stupid drugs.
Speaking of drugs, I was induced and had to be on Pitocin. I had a nice doctor who offered the epidural as soon as the Pitocin was started, and being the total coward that I am, I took it before I felt any pain. So I was in labor for eight hours and didn't feel a thing. Which was nice. They also put something else in my IV that made me reaaaaaaaally haaaaaaappy.
The surgery itself was sort of surreal-I talked to everyone in the room, and I'm sure I made a total idiot of myself. I seem to remember telling the anesthesiologist that I was happy to be having the C-section because "I don't have to worry about hemorrhoids and peeing on myself every time I sneeze from now on". Nice. I also remember demanding a cherry limeaide, and getting all panicky when I was told I couldn't have one. I kept telling Giovanni, "but it's my last pregnancy craving! I have to have it!". I don't remember much of the surgery, like I said, it was very surreal, but I do remember hearing Camilla scream for the first time. I asked everyone within reach what she looked like, (they ignored me) and when they brought her to me, I absolutely fell in love. She was kind of grey and looked so confused-she just stared at me. Giovanni took a picture of her (one at the bottom) while they were pulling her out and she's got the funniest look on her face-like she's asking "what in the world is going on?!" Sorry about all the blood and yuckiness-I didn't even notice it until after I posted the picture.
Anyway, I've rambled enough. It's time to squeeze in some sleep.
Right side. Right side. Right side.
Hopefully I can remember that during the 4 o'clock feeding. Don't count on it.